Trigger Warning - There is talk about suicide and mental health issues.
FORGOTTEN
“No Aunt, I’m just going for a couple of days.”
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“I don’t know what I’m hoping to find, just anything to tell me what happened.”
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“All I can remember was me and mom until my 10th birthday living out there – and then suddenly I didn’t. I can barely remember mom; I want to remember her… the life we had.”
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“I know they say the past is the past, but I need this before I can move on from that house.”
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“Yes, I know the seller is going to come next weekend. But that gives me plenty of time to search the place, its not like it was a mansion or anything like that – how hard can it be to dig through some boxes.”
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“No, of course not – thank you Aunt Helen, love you too.”
I meant every word. I can’t just move on from this like it was just a small bump on the road, I need this to go on with my life.
Every night leading up to this I’ve had dreams… dreams that seem more like memories. They feel so real, but they don’t make any sense to me, not from what I remember.
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My aunt means well, but she just doesn’t get it. We both tried so far to forget my past that now I’ve got nothing left of it but glimpses at the life I could’ve had. I love her, but I need to do this.
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The house looks old, older than it should. But I suppose that’s what happens when you abandon a wooden house for 10 years… There weren’t any lights or electricity on so that has to be the first task to getting done.
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[TURN ON THE LIGHTS]
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Alright, at least I did not completely zone out when Uncle showed me how to put in old fuses back in the cabin.
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I could just get situated in the living room, mom’s room is still locked and I don’t feel like sleeping in a bunk bed for a child.
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The living room… It was probably where we spent most of our time together, mom loved playing the piano while I was drawing. It was always so impressive how much she play just from memory, but I think some was made up to… She was really gifted.
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But mom never did like when I played, she said that it wasn’t for me… Whatever that meant. Mom had so many strange rules, didn’t make much sense back then and don’t make much sense now either.
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I wonder if I can still play the song mom used to…
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Almost there, but it is like something is missing… Ah well, I’ll probably find the sheet music around somewhere, mom was always terrible with hiding everything she didn’t want me to see.
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I better get some sleep and get started properly tomorrow.
DAY ONE
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“Em…Em…”
I’d rather avoid the bedrooms for now, so kitchen and bathroom it is. I mean, both should be relatively easy… Just wait for me to regret saying that.
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The kitchen is simple, it always was. I almost wonder why we even had a kitchen.
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Mom was never much of a foodie; I think I lived on frozen meals more than anything. But luckily that meant that ice cream was a daily treat at home.
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I think mom kept every drawing I ever did.. Some of these I hardly remember doing, guess there are so many by now its hard to keep track of all of them.
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Some of these are even signed twice… Guess all kids have their quirks, this was just mine.
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Most this stuff is too old and rusty to really be used again, I banish all ye to the graveyard with this sticker. I am pretty much done here. Bathroom’s up! The bathroom is super retro, everything looks plucked out of a vintage store. We never had much money, so I guess that is probably just the truth.
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Everything is so well organized, even after all these years. While the rest of the house looks like a huge mess, mom always kept the bathroom squeaky clean for some reason.
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Ah, mirror we meet again. Not quite the supermodel quite yet, but I’ll get there. The picture of mom and I is still on there.
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It’s always been ripped like this, I wonder why.
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The one time I tried asking mom got very upset with me and I didn’t get ice cream that day… The past was always a soft spot for her, she liked having her secrets and not being questioned on them… I wonder if she ever would have told me about her life before me.
I better hang onto this photograph, maybe I find the other half later.
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The tiles look surprisingly fine, I don’t think the seller will have much issue…
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Wait – Something is wrong there; the tile looks loose. Let me take a look maybe it can be fixed before the seller gets here.
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[CHECK THE TILES]
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Drugs? Mom…
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What even are these? Fluoxetine? And that isn’t mom’s name… They’re not even from this state, the address is still on them.
It says they’re antidepressants.
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Mom never told me about these… Well, yeah right. Like anyone would just chat up their child about anti-depressants. That’d probably be more fucked up than having a secret drug stash…
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The bottle is pretty much empty… I wonder if she ever had more or this was just it.
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I can’t believe she would keep such a huge secret from me, from anyone. She always said we were lone wolves, but never like this. Mom had friends in the town that’d come over regularly, although they did stop just right before I was taken away. Maybe they found out and stopped supporting her…
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Mom… Why did you never say anything? We shared everything with each other back then…
I can’t deal with this right now… This is just too much…Fuck… I can’t deal with this.
I’m gonna sleep it off and get started later..
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DAY TWO
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“Em.. Em…. Emelie? Don’t look sweetie... Just go out and wait… Aunt Helen will come soon okay… it’s… it’s all gonna be okay.”
I still can’t believe mom never told me, but I only have two more days to get everything together and this might take longer than I thought… So I better get going.
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My bedroom…
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I never thought I needed to see it again, but being here, seeing it again.. I know I needed to give it a proper farewell before never seeing it again. Most of things were packed up when I left – they did bring a couple of my things, but I guess no one ever bothered to move the rest so it just stayed here.
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I always had a bunk bed, but I never really understood why – it's not like I had any friends to share it with. Mom always said it was so she could sleep in here, which she did sometimes – mostly when I was scared.
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Look at all these boxes… I better get looking through all of it, I doubt more of mom’s things are up here. But maybe this will trigger some memories for me.
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Most is just drawings… some random kid writing… some official papers…
Oh, what are these?
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They look like ripped pieces of photographs…? Mom must have done that, probably just accidental shots, but who knows. I should be able to put them back together..
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[CHECK THE PHOTO]
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That’s… That is my 7th birthday, I got that exact shirt on that day and that’s dad, but who is next to me? Mom did have some friends in the town, but I don’t remember celebrating any birthday with anyone…
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“Hey sweetie, come here – give a big birthday smile you two, come on David – you can at least smile a bit.”
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Woah, what was that? That couldn’t possibly have been real.. that was mom’s voice! I know it was.
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This.. is so royally fucked up. I can’t believe this – the drugs, the shredded photos… what’s next.
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Mom was a good person; she never would’ve lied like this – I feel like I barely know her. I feel like I have been living a lie… Until Now.
Where would mom keep her secrets… In her own room of course, but that’s locked… The study!
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She never let me in there, I always got in trouble for even knocking on the door when she was in there – she always got so mad for no apparent reason... Maybe she kept things in there, well she would keep the most important things in her bedroom, but a key… a key would be easy to hide.
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The study looks so old even for this house.
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“Don’t you dare even think about going in there Em! I’ve told you many times, the study is for grown-ups only.”
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Again.. Argh, don’t lose focus Em, you’ve got this…
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The grandfather clock is so dusty along with everything else in here … I doubt she ever changed the original furniture, now that I think about it – she always locked it with that key around her neck before anyone visited, only her has been in here for… well years.
There is still something on the chalkboard still, I recognise these books – I used to read them all of the time as a kid. Mom loved these books; we would finish them and she’d take them back to her study. I never got a look on my own.
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Huh? Isn’t like mom to leave the books out like that. I better put them back in order.. the chalk board should help with that. For whatever reason mom always kept books in order of completion, maybe that’s what the text is for.
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[CHECK THE STUDY ]
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Wait what is that.. It looks like the weight release this little door?
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It looks like old sheet music.. Written by David? That was dad’s name right?
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“David.. Please don’t… You can’t do this to me! To us! What about them? They can’t understand what’s going on right now… Please don’t leave!
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Mom… again, its like a memory. I heard that, on that day… My birthday, I remember it now, mom was arguing with dad about… something… I can’t quite remember.
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Fuck..
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Wait.
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Did mom…leave all of this here of purpose? She was the last person that lived in the house.. The only room touched was the kitchen and my room.. everything else stayed as it was..
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So if these are all part of a plan… Mom… You left all of this, you knew I was getting taken away? But it was out of the blue – she never wanted me to be taken.
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Did she fight to keep me..?
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Like any good mother would’ve.
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Think, I was never allowed in her room.. the study… and the basement!
I don’t think I was ever down there, she thought it was too scary for me, she would tell me horrible stories about it…
It’s almost sundown, I better sleep on this.. Mom…
DAY THREE
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“What about the basement? Hmm, there lives a dark creature which will take you far far away from me if you ever dare enter, it lives of children’s flesh and bones.”
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It’s just a basement Em, mom just made all of these horror stories up to keep you away as a child. I’ve got this.
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This place creeped me out so much, but I guess with lights its no so bad. There’s so much stuff down here… How can any one person gather this much… stuff.
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Mom loved these records and old tape, it’s like a time capsule in here.
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The biggest trends of the past all collide into one..
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I’ll go through that another time, I need to find something that has a clue… Something that stands out as being left out on purpose or been made on purpose…
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These are all just ordinary tapes, there’s just a bunch of pop music on them…
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Wait, that box looks weird.
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Huh, none of these tapes have anything on them… But they have been marked with symbols?
One of them has text on it, there’s a cassette player here.
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Let’s see.
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“Hello Emelie, it’s mom.
I know a lot probably doesn’t make much sense and I’m sorry. But I can’t just explain it to you. I don’t want them to find it, those creatures that are watching us can’t be allowed to know this secret.
I know I’ve left you all alone, but I had to go before they’d get you by being close to me. I was so afraid… So incredibly afraid that’d they would hurt you Em.
I hope that music will give you the answers you seek…
Love, Mom”
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Mom.. Mom? She did leave all of this on purpose.
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This house.. It’s not just a house, Mom is trying to show me something. I have to find out what..
“Music will give you the answers”.
The sheet music.. I think this could be it, Mom loved the piano.
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[PLAY THE PIANO]
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The top… It’s loose now.
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There’s a key. Mom must have put it here, this can’t possibly be coincidence and so..
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It has to be mom’s bedroom key. It can’t be anything else…
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Maybe I should just turn around now. I mean this is just fucking insane, a wild scavenger hunt from my dead mom in my old house.. It sounds crazy, but not out of character for mom I suppose…
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But..
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What if she’s going to show me something I don’t want to see… or remember..
But I can’t turn around now, I need this to let go of this place… Fuck..
I can’t believe this is fucking happening, after all this time. My own mother couldn’t even give me a straight answer. What’s with all the puzzles..
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Mom’s bedroom, that has to be it for this key.
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That’s all that is left for me to look at. Well, here goes nothing.
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It is like I thought it’d be. Old, simple, a mess yet organized. Just like mom.
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There must be something in here to help me. She must have kept this room last for a reason, there has to be a reason for all of this.
If this is a fucking wild goose chase, I might lose my mind.
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And yet it still feels so wrong to go through her things like this… I just have to get over it. Mom wanted me here.
Mom’s room has so many books, if there wasn’t a bed in here this might’ve been a library.
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All of these photos.. Of her and Dad, they look so happy in this. Like nothing bad could ever happen to them.
Here’s the picture I have, just not ripped yet… It’s framed as well, it must’ve meant a lot to her.
Mom journaled? I never saw her write anything unless it was for a calendar… I guess it makes sense to keep a journal, she probably needed someone to talk to.
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Let’s see if there’s anything in here.
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Date 20th of May 2007
Today it’s the twins' birthday, how fast they grow up… I think I’ll miss them being this
small, so much to see. Innocent, not yet tainted by the cruelty of reality like me.
I saw it again, after the birthday party - the dark figure, it was trying to hurt my
babies. I will not allow it! David told me there was nothing there! But I know
there is ´- David doesn’t have my abilities, he can’t possibly begin to understand it.
Emmett and Emelie… I can’t allow them to be taken away from me… They are too precious to be hurt by them.
David has talked in secret with Molly… That witch, I must keep them away from both of them.
Emmett? Who is Emmette?
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What the fuck – who is she talking about.
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Wait twins?
…
What the absolute fuck is she –
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“Mom, look at what Emmette and I did –“
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“Emmette, you have to promise me – twin promise, we never leave each other right?”.
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“Emelie? What’s happening with Mom and Dad? Why are they always so angry?”
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“I don’t know either… But we’ll always stay together right?”
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“Always..”
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How… How could I forget… Emmette… Brother…
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How does someone just forget their brother like that! How could I just forget it like it was nothing?! It makes no sense.
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Wait there’s more.
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Date 1st of December 2010
I can’t go on… This is too hard.. Sean called me again for the hundredth time today, he
wants to take her away from me like he took Emmett away forever. But I cannot allow it!
Sean never saw what I did and ruined everything because of it – they are threatening us again. I cannot believe it.
Maybe Em would be better off without me, I know something is wrong - I just don’t know what. I should not leave without anything to explain.. The attic will be perfect.
Emelie… I hope one day she can forgive me. But I need to do this. So that she will be safe from them.
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She mentions an attic, I never even knew we had one…
Wait… Above me, there’s a latch.
This is all crazy, I feel crazy… I can’t imagine what this must’ve been like for her. Isolated, alone, scared. With no one to talk to..
I have to see what’s in there.
….
It’s so well kept, despite all the dust someone took a lot of care of this attic for a long time.
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The lights still work... Though I suppose it wasn’t used much so there isn’t much wear to them.
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There’s only a couple of boxes, it's so empty in here… It’s eerie.. They are dated from long before I was born, this must be where mom kept her old things.
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Mom...
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This box has so much of her old stuff, school records… Straight A’s? I can’t imagine mom as a business major at any school.
She was admitted to a mental hospital in the middle of college.. What… No wonder she never spoke of the past to me… us...
More records of her working in different areas and moving around for awhile after her hospital stay…
Oh, here’s dad...
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All of these records are so old, none of them mention me.
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Or Emmett…
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Wait, what are these?
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Letters from dad? And loads of them, what the fuck are all of these letters from dad doing here.
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“To Alice, 10th of July 2008”
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“To Emelie 24th of December 2009”
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It goes on... They are all recent to the day I got taken.
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I have to read them… Wait for what?
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20th of November, 2010
Dear Alice,
I’ve tried calling you again and again, but to no avail. I have to tell you.. this is the last time I will try. Alice, you are leaving me no choice but to call social services.
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I know… I know that losing Emmett was hard on both of us, that car crash was an accident, I’ve blamed myself ever since that day. And I left thinking we’d both be better off, that Emelie would be better off without me, so I couldn’t put her in danger.
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But Molly told me that you haven’t been seen for a whole month now. Emelie needs to be treated well and if your issues get in the way of that I have to step in. Please Alice, let me help you get professional help. I know the pills I got you from Molly must be running out by now since you haven’t seen her since and you know that Molly doesn’t feel good about doing it.
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I hope that you finally respond so I can come by - you’ve avoided me even after I tried knocking on the door the other day.
David.
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“911, what’s you emergency?”
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“My friend… Oh no, no no no”.
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“Ma’am what’s happened to your friend.
“There so much blood, please send help”.
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“Ma’am there’s an ambulance on the day - what has happened”.
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“She… She tried to kill herself, she’s cut her wrists… I have her daughter Emelie here, she was just playing in her room when her mom… I can’t... I can’t feel a pulse…
….
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A COUPLE OF WEEKS AFTER
“This is David speaking”
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“Dad”
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“.....”
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“Em? Em is that you?”
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“Dad it’s me, I know now”.
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